To be, or not to be…a sugar daddy.

That is the question guys ask themselves, or are too afraid to ask themselves.

Many guys have the aspiration of one day becoming a sugar daddy. However, defining what a sugar daddy even means is one of the most complicated questions. To some it means fun times spent and support given. To others it’s show up, take your clothes off, get paid, and leave. And to others still it holds an emotional attachment.

I never thought I would be a sugar daddy. I got married and for many years had the typical life you would expect. After time I realized that relationships are durational. Most overlook this fact, but human nature is to get bored and quickly.  For most people having a spouse come home day after day is mundane. One might ask themselves, “Why?”

The best way I can explain why we get bored of relationships is similar to our fixation on smart phones. We get excited every time we look to see who has messaged us or left a social media post or ‘liked’ our stuff. The reason we do it is simple. We get a rush, yes a dopamine rush, every time we look at our phones. It’s like getting a biological prize every time we check our phone, but here’s the part you might not know. We don’t get the rush when we see who left a message but in fact right before we look. The reason is the anticipation of what’s to come, not the actual act itself. To me the chase is almost more fun than the actual act. In this case getting a gorgeous girl is my version of looking at a smart phone. The chase leading up to that moment she says, “Yes, I’m down for whatever!” is a rush.

In the normal world guys chase girls and even girls chase guys for that rush. Typically you get that rush fewer and further between unless you happen to be gorgeous and or rich. Most people understand good looking people get mates more easily, but wealth and power is a tougher animal to understand. You don’t see rich as easily as looks on a person. It’s hard to pick them out of a crowd unless they are sitting in VIP or show up in a Ferrari. These days we find a lot of people spending their entire paycheck just to simply pop a bottle of Moet on an elevated platform and call themselves VIP, so it makes it even tougher to spot.  Pretenders are everywhere and girls have caught on to the fact that those types of guys are just fake players in the game.

Then you have the real players. Those guys are looking for the same rush of landing a hot girl that most other guys are looking for. They want it quick and efficient because, of course, they are business minded, right? Just like we look at our cell phones time after time, right? It ultimately comes down to cost of acquisition. Now imagine for a moment that money is no longer an object or concern. No matter what number you put on that check it will clear. Now think about how that changes the dating world? Everyone and I mean everyone has a number. I wouldn’t have thought it was true until I saw it firsthand. No matter how hot or how famous or how uptight a girl is I have typically been able to land them and ironically without spending a fortune. Offering up a more fun exciting life is typically enough so long as it’s for real, and of course my life is for real. I would say I have a 90% success rate and the 10% I haven’t landed merely haven’t circled back… yet. Circled back, you might ask? That is when you propose an offer that makes life easier for someone; it’s hard to forget. So when life gets tough for that specific girl, she starts to think “Hmm, it wouldn’t be so bad if no one knew. I could get my cell phone and car payments made all if I date this guy without any emotion.”  They say girls are tested when they have nothing and guys are tested when they have everything. Life’s a test of everyone’s resolve.

Well girls, you are not alone. I am honestly blown away with how many girls have sugar daddies. The whole subculture is not known well because girls don’t want anyone to know they are dating a middle aged fat guy whose net worth is more than some countries. And the guys don’t want people to know they are effectively paying for companionship. I’m the case somewhere in between. I’ve been trashed publicly so many times I simply don’t care what people think anymore. People have far too many opinions, almost as many opinions as they have skeletons in their own closets. “Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone”, right? I do what makes me happy. I treat those that treat me well better than they would have ever expected.

Now I know you must be asking yourself, “What’s it like being a sugar daddy or baby?” That’s the question everyone that has not experienced this lifestyle is curious about. I can’t speak for every situation because each and every situation different. I’m just going to be bold enough to tell you what I have experienced personally.

I have been happily married for close to 14 years. I had my first run in with being a sugar daddy about 2 years ago. My wife and I had an open relationship for many years. We didn’t start out that way but we both were attracted to women, and over time things changed. It did not mean I stopped loving my wife but our interests diverged. I wanted to live life on the edge, and she wanted to settle down. Over time we would include girls in our personal lives and it was fun. It kept things fresh and exciting. Yeah you guessed it, that’s the dopamine rush. As time wore on, our relationship flickered like a dying match. Occasionally we would do something fun but it was mainly just a get through another day. Then I unexpectedly had a life changing event happen which I could not have foreseen. It changed my emotional attachment towards people. That, in itself, is a whole different story but let’s skip ahead.


One day I had a whole crew of people at my house playing paintball and a whole bunch of girls were playing with us. One of which I thought was hot at the time. That night everyone left but this girl and her friend. They wanted to party some more because they saw I was doing well in life. Next thing I know they are playing around in the shower together getting ready to go out. I was thinking to myself, “OMG this is gonna be the best night ever!” By this time my wife didn’t really care what I did with other girls. She could do what she wanted to do as well. We simply loved each other and what we did for fun didn’t matter. For some reason though MOST people cannot separate their genitals from their heart, so they think somehow we are hurting one another. This is dead WRONG.  I love my wife and would die for her, but I also like having fun.  Anyhow, that night we went to the club and wouldn’t you know it, the girls I took were out talking to the owner of the club instead of me. Sure enough I got dropped for someone more financially sound than me that night.

I was pissed off. No surprise right? I was beat out because he had more money than I did. Girls, don’t feel bad because you go after a guy with money. Some would say you are a gold digger. I look at it like this: I could get big and strong by picking up metal all day every day. Or I could use my BRAIN to succeed in life. Most girls go after looks and wonder why the guy is a douche nozzle. Well when a guy has everything and therefore has girls chasing him, he can get pretty arrogant. So wouldn’t going after a successful guy make more sense? A guy that is successful is typically smarter, right? I personally would say a girl is pretty amazing if she can look past a few extra pounds and goes after a guy that has his shit together. He’s not a douche anymore because he’s done something with himself in life. It’s so backwards. Liking a guy who’s broke for his washboard abs is really shallow. Liking a guy because he can support you, take you to dinner, and give you the things you want, well that seems to me to be a better choice.

Let’s fast forward a few more months. The bar owner gave the girl a job. She worked a couple times and, from what I understand, she banged him. Soon after she was out the door she was calling me up again. The conversation was something like “Aw I want to go to the beach, but I can’t afford it.” I said, “Well that sucks.” She said, “I should just sell my body, I guess.”  To which I replied, “ok I’m in.” Now at the time I wanted to get this girl, mainly because she shut me down. If it meant coughing up some money for her to go to the beach, then sure thing I’m in. That was the first time I realized how the sugar daddy world worked. I have something she wants, and she has something I want. Some would say while holding their noses, ‘OHH that’s prostitution.’  I would say buying a girl dinner to get her in bed is too. Instead I paid for her to go to the beach and she made my night fun without the hassle of dating.

Fast forward more years and I’ve now become wildly successful. I don’t have to worry about money as much anymore. My future is set. I work a lot and I make sure my kid gets most of my time. But that leaves me in a situation where I don’t have time to get out and find girls like I once did. I still want that dopamine rush, but I want it quick and easy. Now I can say I am a true sugar daddy. I thought at first it was a thing to be hidden but honestly I’ve had situations where I’m standing with say 5 girls and you get that one girl that’s like “Eww you pay for it?” And right after that I get 4 new phone numbers. The simple fact of the matter is I’m what a girl wants. I’m stable, I’m sane, I’m not desperate, I’m confident, I’m decent in bed, I’m fun, I’m decent looking and I’m fun to be around. So why not just own it? Why not be what I am and stop caring what people think? I’ve even considered doing a reality show based on my life. Why not, right? You are going to either love me or hate me, and either is fine with me.

I found a girl that caught me off guard recently. I met her on seeking arrangements. When I talked to her she told me that her friend was living with a sugar daddy. The arrangement was this girl lived there, received $500 a month and in return she was at his sexual disposal anytime he wished. She also was to keep house. I was blown away by that inequitable situation. On the flip side I have been asked for $10k a month to see a girl a couple times a week and that is INSANE! Anyway, I spoke to this girl at length one night and I could tell we clicked. She met me the following day on my yacht. To spare you the details, the day went well. I then asked her what she wanted out of it and I was completely thrown off when she said she didn’t really care. She was just looking for someone that treated her well, that made life exciting, and someone that had their shit together. Now I was completely confused. She didn’t want anything from me? Well it turns out she was worth more than me. I couldn’t believe it but she was the heiress to a fortune. Likely close to half a billion dollars! Here’s this hot young girl who genuinely likes me, wants nothing but me, and honestly could have anything. So being a sugar daddy can be a surprise. You never know what’s going to happen.

I can’t say that for all the sites though. I have had horrible experiences with and what’ one is riddled with fake profiles looking to grab your info. The other’s concept I think is terrible. You pay $20 just to see if you want to meet someone. Seeking arrangements has been amazing, though and completely worth the membership!

I will tell you one thing about the sugar daddy world that few know. You wouldn’t believe who’s doing it. Nearly all girls have accepted money and guys that can afford it are offering. I’ve partied with playboy models, maxim models, politicians daughters (yeah the first sugar baby), celebrities. You name it I’ve done it! I was even once at a party where I had three girls there with me. I had the waitress approach me and say “there are two girls in the corner that want to talk to you”. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and on my way back to my table I stopped by the other two girls to say hi. It turns out they were identical twins. YES, IDENTICAL. They saw me partying with the other three and wanted to know who I was. I told them and they made it very clear they wanted to come home with me that night. I went back to my table and apologized to the other girls. I told them the night was going to end there because I had twins and I could not pass up that opportunity. I was straight forward about it. To date, two of them want to hang out still even though I stood them up.

I have a wild life. I look at guys like Dan Bilzerian with some envy. I admit that I’m a hater. Not really of Bilzerian, but of the fact I’m not yet on that level. However, I earned my way here. I didn’t have a family to leave me billions. If I were him I would do the exact same thing as he is. And it shows that people want that life. With 7.7 million fans, yeah he’s doing something right or wrong, but who cares. My hat’s off to the guy for doing what he wants regardless of what people think.

I’m a sugar daddy and proud of it. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I enjoy the simplicity of it and every now and again I find someone pretty awesome, like I recently have. My life doesn’t have to make sense to anyone except the people I care about and that care about me.

Who knows someday I might even tell some of the crazy stories I have lived while in the Sugar Daddy world.